Do Not Try This At Home, Even If You Are Demented Enough To Want To

Today was one of our first official opportunities to play with real live animals in vet school.  We spend a lot  of time with our cadaver dogs in anatomy and there is always the teaching hospital right next door, but for the first semester at least there is not a whole lot of people-animal interaction built into the curriculum.  So it was a great treat to get our bovine handling lab in this afternoon (and you know it's really neat when we are still excited about it, even though it takes up our Friday afternoon).

Admittedly, we were working with very kind and docile university-owned Holstein dairy cows.  This is a poor approximation of conditions in The Real World, but for those who've never been around cows it's a safe place to start and for we who are somewhat seasoned it's a really refreshing change (also, it was a reasonable time of day--I feel like I've spent all the rest of my cow time getting dragged across our dairy yard by angry milkers well before dawn).  We split into small groups and first practiced picking up a cow's feet and inspecting them, getting used to normal parameters.  Then we put on our cowboy hats and learned how to take down a calf: in case you ever need this information, you lean over the calf and grab onto the flank with one hand and the front leg closest to you with the other, then flip them out and drop them along your legs.  Before you do this you get your Tom Fool's knot ready to hobble the hind legs and tuck them up to the belly to tie behind their head.  Believe me, the calves just love it.  Mama cow vocally expressed her apprehension about these proceedings, but everyone emerged unscathed and only one student fell on their butt (for once, it wasn't me!).

Next we migrated over to our victim in the squeeze chute (this picture isn't our rig, but it's a good example).  Squeeze chutes are incredibly handy and time and injury saving, and they don't hurt the cows--but they do look impressive.  Our very tolerant patient was being harassed at both ends, as we haltered her and learned how to administer oral medications (big long pill-er, stuck your fist in the cow's mouth to hold it open, thrust in the medicine, bury your hand and discharge the bolus).  We even got to palpate her epiglottis.  Imagine sticking your hand past the elbow in a cow's mouth to tickle the back of her throat.  That was about it.  Also, they have giant razor-sharp molars.  As Ernie put it, "It's a leap of faith.  And, uh, don't spread your fingers if you wanna keep 'em."  Thanks, Ernie.  It was very cool and very slimy.  I have since disinfected my hands.

Back at the caudal regions of the cow, the shoulder sleeves came out.  Hurrah for the good old left arm warmer!  We donned our plastic shields and dove in for the rectal palpation.  The goal was to locate the cervix, the uterine bifurcation and the horns of the uterus.  I found the cervix and the bifurcation, but never could follow it up to the horns.  It is truly astounding how big the inside of a cow is.  Also warm.  And squeezy.  And...er...other things you can probably imagine without trying too hard.

Continuing the landmark day, we got our first Anatomy exams back today.  I was very pleased with mine (96%!) so that is a good start to the exam season.  I have my first histology exam on Monday so I suppose I should start reading those 50+ pages of notes now (Mom, you are going to spend a lot of time looking through microscopes with me this weekend!).  Fortunately, histology is not in any way difficult, it is simply intimidating through sheer volume.

Also!  (It has been a busy day) I started work at our Clinical Instructional Services department today.  I am the basest rookie there, so I was mainly folding hospital gowns today, but eventually I will be involved with the junior-year surgeries, treatment and care of our surgery animals, and it's interesting to know how surgery works from the other side.  Hopefully it will give me a good perspective on the life of a tech and I will remember to be very nice to mine someday in the future.  Vet school is a sea of overwhelming options and new experiences and it's hard to filter what you want, but I feel like it's off to a good start.  And now, my Mom should be here in an hour or two and I am still sitting on the small corner of my couch that's not overrun with laundry or homework detritus.  Off to get crackin' on the housework!

Toodles and love to all.  Especially Toby Zeigler who probably needs it most.  Chin up!